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Monthly archives for February, 2011

The Wallet and the Divine Appointment

Feb28
2011 9 Comments Written by Rick

On a typical Sunday someone will hand me an item and say “Someone lost this. I don’t know what to do with it, so I figured I should give it to you.”  Makes as much sense as anything else, I suppose.  Yesterday was a good haul as I ended up with a checkbook, and iTouch, and a wallet.  The checkbook owner was easy to track, the iTouch owner I’m still working on, and the wallet – well, that’s an interesting story.

The wallet had passed through several hands before it got to me.  A volunteer had found it in the church parking lot, she passed it to our pastor’s wife who passed it to Karla, who passed it to me.  I opened it, looking for a clue and got the driver’s license.  Easy.  I walked over to a computer and had a volunteer do a church database search for the name. It wasn’t there.  Hmmm.  He must be one of the non-compliant ones that never fills out a connection card.

I went to my Mac and pulled up Facebook.  Facebook users are not as privacy-conscious as you might think, based on news reports, so I did a name search for the guy.  Winner! Name and face match.  Pulling up his profile, there wasn’t much to go on, except that his profile linked to his wife’s profile.  His wife’s profile showed her place of employment as a car dealership, and for my convenience, listed a number so I called it, asking for his wife. She was off for the weekend, but I was put in touch with one of her employees.  I explained the situation with the wallet, so she sent a text message to her boss with my contact information.

A few minutes later, my phone rings – it’s the owner of the wallet.  He thanked me for my investigative skills.  No problem, I replied.  Then I asked, “So, are you here on campus right now for the 12:30 service or did you already go home from one of the earlier services?”  This is where it gets strange.

He said “Here’s the thing: I’ve never been to your church before.  I last had my wallet at the nearby Starbucks this morning.”  My wheels and gears in my investigative brain were turning.  We DID have contact with known panhandlers that morning, known to be near the Starbucks with the ‘I ran out of gas’ scam.  It could be that they picked up the wallet, then ditched it in our parking lot after finding nothing to work with.  The wallet owner said he’d be out in a few minutes to pick it up.

When he arrived, he gave me a hug and asked if I knew why the lost wallet happened.  I explained my scenario of how the wallet got to me, but he stopped me and said, no, God wanted me here today and he was going to get me here no matter what it took.  He then explained further:

He gets together with a couple of guys weekly to do a bible study.  It’s completely independent of a church, and he hasn’t been to one for quite a while.  Recently, he’s been getting invites from friends that attend EastLake Church.  He knew about our current series, Relationship Rehab, and that had sparked his interest because he loves to learn about the psychology about relationships and communication. Three weeks ago, his wife told him that she would really like for the two of them to start going to church together, and he had agreed, but never took the step.

The morning of the lost wallet, they had intended to come to EastLake Church, but he had again found an excuse to skip it.  Sitting around at home, he announced to his wife “By the way, around 4PM today, I’m going to get together with the guys for my study.”

That did not go over well.  He got an earful of “You are so selfish. I’ve been wanting us to go to church together. You agreed to do that with me, we miss it again, but you’re going to go do your study on your own.”  As he tried to formulate a response, the text message came in to his wife’s phone about the wallet.  That broke the tension of the moment as he called me back.

He held back tears on the drive out to the church, knowing that he hadn’t been listening to God, avoiding church, avoiding spending that key time with his wife who was starving for it.  God took it up a notch and placed him there to retrieve his wallet.

He assured me that he would be going home to apologize to his wife for his selfishness and would be back with his wife next weekend to be at the service.  Perfect timing, too. Next week’s message is Relationship Rehab: What Women Wish Men Knew.  He walked back to his car, shaking his head in amazement at the God who pursued him.

Matthew 18:12-14

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Steven Pressfield on Fundamentalism

Feb24
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Rick

From Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art:

“The fundamentalist (or, more accurately, the beleaguered individual who comes to embrace fundamentalism) cannot stand freedom.  He cannot find his way into the future, so he retreats to the past.  He returns in imagination to the glory days of his race and seeks to reconstitute both them an himself in their purer, more virtuous light.  He gets back to the basics.  To fundamentals.”

The fundamentals certainly have their place to maintain uniformity, like at McDonalds where there is no need for creativity by the front line employees, but a reliance on what we currently know to be “the basics” will keep us from finding new solutions.

Blow up the current acceptable model and design a completely different approach.  You may get the same end result at first, but the redesigned model may open up far more possibilities to grow.

 

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What’s It Worth?

Feb23
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Rick

You can have virtually whatever you want, if you’re willing to pay.  You want hamburger? It’ll be about $2/pound for the cheap stuff.  You want filet mignon?  Be prepared to pay at least $13/pound and far more for highest quality steak.  That much is obvious.  But think beyond cash and reframe cost in terms of choices and impact on your physical self.

I like to eat whatever I want, anytime that I want.  I like cookies, cake, pie, candy bars, ice cream, deep-fried anything, pastries, donuts, regular Coke, beer, potato chips…  I could go on and on, but I’m starting to get hungry.  But for me, there’s a cost:

  1. I gain weight easily.
  2. I have gout, and excessive intake of sugars has a painful impact.

So, I’ve got a choice to make. I can have all of the foods that I consider delicious (read: sugary) that I want if I’m willing to pay the high price of continuous weight gain (I’ve been as high as 275 pounds) and extreme, crippling pain in my joints from a gout attack.  Being fat and in pain isn’t very appealing.  Next choice?

I can be super lean.  In college, I went on Weight Watchers with my roommate and dropped down to a low of 186 pounds from 238.  Continuously restrictive eating made me skinny, but I wasn’t necessarily healthy, nor was it easy to maintain a weight that low and I quickly gained weight back after I stopped miserably counting “points.”  Next choice?

I can modify how I eat with a plan like Tim Ferriss’ Slow-Carb Diet, which involves low-carb clean eating 6 days a week with a 1 day a week free-for-all.  Is it the best of both worlds?  It’s close call for me as I’m definitely losing fat while I’ve been on this eating plan for the last few weeks.  The downside is that 2 of the last 3 cheat days have resulted in triggering a gout attack.  Long-term, this may not be the best way to go for my health either.  Next choice?

I can reframe added sugar as a legitimate food allergy because of the impact on gout.  I already did this with alcohol and shellfish because of a clear, direct link to the attacks and haven’t consumed any for the last 12 years.  I can reframe how I look at food, and re-prioritize food as high-quality body fuel first, and great-tasting second, then look for foods that fit that new paradigm.  This plan also sucks because I really like sugar.

The key is understanding the cost.  Every one of those possibilities has a cost associated with it.  With one choice, I’ll be fat and in pain.  Another, I’ll be skinny and miserable from checking boxes.  In another, I’ll get some of what I like, and still be sick from it.  Or finally, I’ll have to change how I think.  What’s best?  It all depends on what I will ultimately value the most.  And at this point, I haven’t fully decided what makes the most sense for me, although I hate being fat, miserable, or in pain.  I know where I’m leaning, but it’s hard to leave behind temporary pleasures, isn’t it?  Kind of like sin.  Count the cost.

Good resources:

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The Drive-Thru Window

Feb20
2011 2 Comments Written by Rick

I was at the McDonald’s drive-thru, taking advantage of the $1 XL drink deal which has got to be one my favorite deals ever – a 42oz giant soda for a buck and I don’t even have to get out of my car except to pee but I finish the drink before I have to pee, I don’t even need to get out of the car at all because I now have a 42oz container to use.  That’s not even my point, but a good tip for travelers.  Anyway, as I came around the corner of the building, I saw the car in front of me receiving their order from the drive-thru window, and what I saw was horrifying.  Consider that there are four ways to get your order handed to you in the drive thru:

  1. The simple hand-off.  The employee sticks their arm out the window, and you receive the bag.  This could easily be an industrial stainless steel robot arm. Simple, clean.
  2. The extra reach.  You’re a terrible driver and didn’t pull close enough the window so the employee gets his shoulder through the window and extends as far as he can.  You can actually hear tendons popping from his straining reach.
  3. The park.  Your order isn’t ready yet (or the employees are trying to manipulate their speed tracking system by moving you off of the time sensor) so you’re asked to pull ahead.  The bag is handed to you at an appropriate arms-length distance.
  4. The birth-giving building.  This employee has secret dreams of working at Outback Steakhouse, home of overly familiar employees that cross the line of intimacy and sit down at your table to take your order.  While this guy waits his turn to hit the big time at Outback, he practices getting all informal and cozy with you by wriggling the entire upper half of body out of the drive-thru window.

As you can guess, I witnessed the birth-giving building move being executed on the car in front of me.  The car was actually close enough to the building for the simple hand-off, and the employee did not appear to have abnormally short arms.  This was clearly an intentional move to gain additional intimacy and connection.  And, I’m not kidding when I say this: He was so far out the window that you could picture two additional employees inside the building each holding a foot to stabilize him.

I started to get a little panicky, my mind racing through my mental checklist of what to do when people try to crawl inside my car via my open driver’s side window.  Do I stab his hand with my blade?  Headbutt him?  The window was now open and it was my turn, so I rolled ahead.  Relief! A different employee took a turn at the window and executed the simple hand-off and my transaction passed without incident.  My only hope is that McDonald’s management witnessed the birth-giving building incident and took disciplinary action.

What’s your drive-thru peeve?

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Wax Yourself

Feb18
2011 1 Comment Written by Rick

Last week, I went to Mexico to pick up my daughter.  I wanted to make a good impression (and see out of my windshield), so I took the car through the car wash immediately before heading out.  It didn’t take long for the car to be completely covered with a layer of golden Ensenada dust, especially while parked on the dirt road outside of the YWAM base.  By the time I got back home, any evidence that the car had ever seen a wash in its lifetime was long gone.

This week, I had more time.  I hand-washed my car on Tuesday, then, I got out the can of carnuba wax and hand-waxed it, shining my Arizona Beige Ford Taurus to a high polish (well, as polished as beige can look).

Then it rained on Wednesday.

Most of the time, a rain will ruin a good wash, rendering the time or money spent a complete waste of resources.  Not so after a good wax.  The time and effort spent waxing the car pays off by turning the rain into a rinse, rather than a magnet for filth.  And that got me thinking…

There’s two parts to clean: getting clean, then staying clean.  Getting clean usually involves stopping a behavior.  Staying clean involves preparing for the mess and its inevitable comeback attempt.

How do you wax yourself?

  • You get clean by putting all of your papers in the filing cabinet.  You put on the wax when you have a system to process them as they come in.  See David Allen’s Getting Things Done.
  • You get clean by making a decision to stop drinking.  You put on the wax when you get into an accountability group or program.
  • You get clean by deleting all of the porn from your computer and throwing away your collection of DVDs and magazines.  You put on the wax when you confess your concerns to a trusted friend, install x3watch accountability software, and install internet filtering software like SafeEyes.
  • You get clean by making a decision to follow Jesus.  You put on the wax when you take intentional steps to grow, like praying, reading the bible, serving, getting into a growth group, being generous, and being honest.

James 4:7 (NLT) says “So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Getting clean is getting humble before God, and submitting that He is in control. You put on the wax by resisting the inevitable temptation.

What’s a step you need to take today to not only get clean, but also put on a protective coating of wax?

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Unmanliness, Continued

Feb17
2011 1 Comment Written by Rick

Men across the globe are trying to make sure that they maintain a state of manliness at all times. Nearly every day, men type “unmanly” into Google and end up on rickknowles.net to check their current behaviors or accessories against my well-researched lists, found here:

10 Unmanly Things
10 More Unmanly Things
Unmanly Things, Continued
Even More Unmanly Things

The most recent search was “Is it unmanly to be ticklish?”  I’ll address that concern specifically, then add a few more items to the list, just to keep you safe.

No, it is not unmanly to be ticklish.  I suspect that your concern comes from how being ticklish manifests itself in outward behavior.  Examples of unmanly behavior that come as a direct result of being tickled include, but are not limited to: giggling, squealing, and squirming.  These are not your fault, but they can be suppressed.  The easiest way to suppress the unmanly behavior is to punch the tickler.  Start with a punch to the shoulder.  If that doesn’t stop your assailant, go to the ribs, then a direct hit to the nose if necessary.  Your goal is to stop your own unmanliness as soon as possible.

Here’s a few more things declared as unmanly:

  1. Tumblr blogs.  Go ahead and look at one.  Impossible to disagree.
  2. Jamba Juice beverages that do not have protein powder or peanut butter.
  3. Recumbent bikes.  Bicycling should not involve lounging.
  4. Body shaving.
  5. A single guy living alone with a cat.
  6. Biscotti.
  7. Crossing your legs.
  8. Saying “tummy” when you mean your abs, or your gut.
  9. Going on a diet.  No, you’re changing your eating habits.
  10. A cell phone color other than black or silver.
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Patience…

Feb17
2011 1 Comment Written by Rick

I just transferred my rickknowles.net from GoDaddy.com to Bluehost.com.  If you’re looking at older posts, please be patient as I reconfigure the WordPress plug-ins to get everything to work properly again.

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Tales from Mexico

Feb15
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Rick

My daughter just finished 5 months with YWAM in Ensenada, Mexico City, and the Dominican Republic.  Given that I had only been to Canada (America jr) before, she’s already much more of a world traveler than I am.  I’ve lived about 10 minutes from the Mexican border since 2005 and never crossed over until it was time to either visit Kayla (in December 2010) or take her back home (last week).  I’ve compiled 11 observations about Mexico from those two quick trips:

1. The food is delicious.  Besides a little bit of terrible dining hall food at the YWAM base in Ensenada, I ate nothing but tacos.  There was a little open-air taco shop just down the street that served awesome tacos.  Carne asada, adobada, and chorizo were my favorites.  I did not try the tripa (intestine).  I probably never will.

2. Sex is a major part of Mexican tourism. Walk down the street and find plenty of evidence.  Sex shops, strip clubs, multiple pharmacies selling erection meds (no prescription required), a vendor asking me “Cigars? Liquor? Viagra? Whips? Chains? Massage? Mexican girlfriend? Whatever you want, I’ll get it for you.” Crazy.

3. Many things are much cheaper in Mexico (except Starbucks, which is universally expensive). You want a pullover sweatshirt? $10 – spend at least twice as much in the U.S. You want a blanket? $5-$8 – again, you’ll spend at least twice as much in the U.S.  You want a latte?  Yeah, still $5.

4. Prepare to be mauled by vendors in any shopping district. The vendors will come at you with any and all techniques to get your attention.  I heard these and more:

  • “Hey, Mr. Clean! Come over here!”
  • “Vin Diesel! Come here.”
  • “Everything’s almost free, check it out.”
  • “Come look at some things you don’t need.”
  • “Try my churros, better than the other guys.”
  • “99% off, come on in.”
  • “I’ve got more in the back, come see.”
  • “Make an offer.”
  • “You promised you’d see me on the way back, come on in.”
  • “Hey, nice family! Look over here!”
  • “It’s my turn!  Listen…”

5. Stray dogs are everywhere, and, they’re friendly.  Just like the vendors, they understand that they don’t eat if they bite you.

6. There are no emissions standards.  Around traffic, the scent of high-emissions exhaust assaults your face and you can see the smog hanging in the air.

7. There are so many potholes in the roads, it reminds you of San Diego.  Just kidding, San Diego.  Mexican potholes are deeper.

8. Traffic flaggers make no sense.  In the U.S., there’s a standard set of hand and sign motions designed to get you safely around road construction.  In Mexico, all bets are off as to what the flagger really wants you to do.  To one, waving a flag up and down might mean go ahead, but to another it means slow down.  Construction zones are scary.

9. There is no sense of danger on the roads. A tour bus might blow its air horn at you while traveling 120kmh on a windy mountain road.  A person may pop out of nowhere to run across the highway.  Stop signs are optional.  You just never know.

10. You can’t flush your toilet paper.  The trash can next to the toilet is where that goes. This assault on the nose is much worse than the car exhaust with no emissions standards noted in point #6.

11. The border crossing is insane.  The traffic signs are hard to follow, so you’re not sure if you’re in the right place until your car is surrounded by the border vendors.  You can immediately get an unsolicited window wash, or get any of the following and more: A child’s desk, a Hello Kitty piggy bank, a Super Mario piggy bank, a statue of Mary, a 3′ tall cross with Jesus crucified, hats, blankets, lighted spinny things (like you might get at Disneyland), soft drinks, cut fruit, corn on the cob, fresh churros from the propane-fired deep fryer sitting in the street, and, there’s even a pharmacy right before the border just in case you forgot to pick up your Viagra.

Here’s a little gallery featuring “Viagra Man”, the little blue pill superhero.  He’s coming to save your erection.

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The Cheat Day

Feb09
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Rick

Toward the end of last summer, I began a hibernating phase, eating everything in sight and not worrying about it because I knew that I would need the extra energy found in my fat stores to sleep through the entire winter. It turns out that winter doesn’t exist in San Diego, so I’ve just waddled around with a few extra pounds all winter long. It was time to change all that.

I’ve been on diets before, and I know the routine. In college, I dropped nearly 50 pounds on Weight Watchers. Throughout adulthood, I’ve struggled to maintain an appropriate weight, bouncing my weight up and down (mostly up) through a 10 – 15 pound range. The greatest long-term success I’ve had has come through The South Beach Diet, and that’s been pretty solid through the last 6 years.

The bummer is: I like to eat. I like to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I like to make poor diet choices in favor of taste. I like candy bars, donuts, ice cream, deep-fried everything, regular Coke, and chocolate chip cookies. Heck, I’d even roll around in Butter-Flavored Crisco if it weren’t socially unacceptable. But, that kind of thinking, that kind of loose, devil-may-care attitude about my body’s fuel makes my jeans uncomfortable. And not from excitement.

I decided to check out Tim Ferriss’ book, The Four Hour Body. In it, he details a variety of personal experiments in human effectiveness that become his “uncommon guide to rapid fat-loss, incredible sex, and becoming superhuman.” Sign me up for all three! For now, however, I’m focused on the section of the book on rapid fat loss.

The Slow-Carb Diet he recommends for fat loss is made up of 5 simple rules:
1. Don’t eat white food. No flours, no sugars, nothing that could be made white through processing like brown rice. Essentially, it’s carbohydrate elimination.
2. Eat the same basic meals over and over. Each meal needs a protein, a vegetable, and a legume. Have as much of that as you want, just don’t violate rule number 1.
3. Don’t drink your calories. The Trenti-sized white chocolate chip mocha isn’t helping you.
4. Don’t eat fruit. More carb elimination.
5. Have a cheat day. Eat whatever. Don’t worry about it. Caloric spikes are good for you! Once a week, just go for it. And, most people already cheat on any diet plan they’ve ever tried, so you might as well just plan it in and feel fine with it.

Naturally, I’m attracted to this idea.

The first four rules are essentially The South Beach Diet’s phase 1. Two weeks of carb elimination to kick the sugar habit before you start to gradually introduce some whole grains (phase 2). After meeting your weight loss targets, you graduate to phase 3 to maintain it for the rest of your life with great eating choices.

The fifth rule is the missing link, the one I’ve been searching for. The rule that says eating crappy food is a good thing! So, I gave it a shot.

I started on Monday, January 31st with a renewed focus. It was surprisingly easy to get back into a clean eating lifestyle. After all, I’ve been there before, I know the routine,  and I know it works. Day 1 was no problem, Day 2 found me wanting a late night snack, then days 3-6 were back to being no problem. I was very full, eating a ton of veggies and legumes, as well as plenty of proteins. Within about 3 days, I noticed that clothes were already fitting better. Success! And, Superbowl Sunday (my pre-planned cheat day) was just around the corner!

When Superbowl Sunday came, I started off with a healthy breakfast that really wasn’t that different from the other days of the week. After breakfast, here’s what I had for the rest of the day:
1 Snickers Bar (this was the beginning. I wasn’t even hungry. I just had it because I could.)
2 Chocolate Chunk cookies
1 Raised yeast donut, sugar glazed
After these things, I was really feeling the sugar slam my system. I felt buzzy and strange.
A turkey sandwich (I threw away the bread)
At the Superbowl Party, I had:
3 chili dogs (no bun)
A handful of tortilla chips and liqui-cheese
A few handfuls of regular potato chips and ranch dip
1 cookie
A couple of small handfuls of peanut M&M’s
2 lemon bar squares
1 cupcake
About 10 of the creampuff bites from Costco
I really wasn’t feeling good. In fact, I was craving clean food at this point. But, the cheat day wasn’t over, so we stopped at the grocery store on the way home to pick up some ice cream for sundaes at home. But, before I could make a sundae, I fired up the grill and cooked a chicken breast seasoned with Montreal steak seasoning. Honestly, it was the best-tasting food of the day.
Then I finished with a big bowl of Moose-Tracks ice cream.

I felt gross. I took a couple of Tums and laid in bed thinking about how crappy I felt. Maybe this was the real purpose of the cheat day. Hmmm.

Back to my six days of clean eating…

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South Bay Expressway Strikes Again

Feb05
2011 1 Comment Written by Rick

Following the lead of another frustrated friend, I sent off the following letter to the South Bay Expressway, our local toll road:

There are two components to building sales: volume and price.  I’m disappointed that you have chosen price as your tactic again.  Ultimately, this will decrease the volume that I use the road.

I’m not a huge user, using the toll road only 10 times in the last week.  Your rate hike is ten cents, so, if I didn’t change my behavior at all, you’d bank an extra $1. Sweet.
However, if out of those 10 trips, I decide that just once, I’m going to save a couple of bucks and spend a couple of extra minutes cutting through Bonita to avoid the SR54 to SMR toll of $2.10, you suddenly come out behind on the deal by $1.20.
Or, let’s say that I still like to use the SMR to SR54 route, but to help subsidize those trips, I eliminate just two of the short trips between H & Birch.  The 8 trips that I kept give you an extra $.80.  But, the two trips I eliminated took away $1.70 in potential revenue.  Again, you come out behind.
You’ve placed a big bet on the idea that people won’t change their driving behavior.  I’m not going to say that I’ll stop using the toll road completely.  That’s an empty threat.  But, consider this: There’s financial upside for me to decrease my frequency, eliminate all short trip usage, or cut through Bonita when I feel like I have extra time to save a couple of bucks.  There is very little that increases my desire to increase or even maintain my frequency of use.
The South Bay Expressway is convenient, but completely optional. I see it a lot like the price gouging of cable TV.  As cable TV prices increased, consumers looked for alternatives: Hulu, Netflix, Apple TV, Roku, and the like all provide a lower cost alternative to cable TV.  I’ve gone from the full bundle package with Cox Cable, to a minimalist package with AT&T’s UVerse, and soon to switch to simple on-demand services through internet-only options.  It may not be as convenient to use an alternative, but I’ll save money along the way.  Just like skipping your toll road.
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