Written by Toward the end of last summer, I began a hibernating phase, eating everything in sight and not worrying about it because I knew that I would need the extra energy found in my fat stores to sleep through the entire winter. It turns out that winter doesn’t exist in San Diego, so I’ve just waddled around with a few extra pounds all winter long. It was time to change all that.
I’ve been on diets before, and I know the routine. In college, I dropped nearly 50 pounds on Weight Watchers. Throughout adulthood, I’ve struggled to maintain an appropriate weight, bouncing my weight up and down (mostly up) through a 10 – 15 pound range. The greatest long-term success I’ve had has come through The South Beach Diet, and that’s been pretty solid through the last 6 years.
The bummer is: I like to eat. I like to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I like to make poor diet choices in favor of taste. I like candy bars, donuts, ice cream, deep-fried everything, regular Coke, and chocolate chip cookies. Heck, I’d even roll around in Butter-Flavored Crisco if it weren’t socially unacceptable. But, that kind of thinking, that kind of loose, devil-may-care attitude about my body’s fuel makes my jeans uncomfortable. And not from excitement.
I decided to check out Tim Ferriss’ book, The Four Hour Body. In it, he details a variety of personal experiments in human effectiveness that become his “uncommon guide to rapid fat-loss, incredible sex, and becoming superhuman.” Sign me up for all three! For now, however, I’m focused on the section of the book on rapid fat loss.
The Slow-Carb Diet he recommends for fat loss is made up of 5 simple rules:
1. Don’t eat white food. No flours, no sugars, nothing that could be made white through processing like brown rice. Essentially, it’s carbohydrate elimination.
2. Eat the same basic meals over and over. Each meal needs a protein, a vegetable, and a legume. Have as much of that as you want, just don’t violate rule number 1.
3. Don’t drink your calories. The Trenti-sized white chocolate chip mocha isn’t helping you.
4. Don’t eat fruit. More carb elimination.
5. Have a cheat day. Eat whatever. Don’t worry about it. Caloric spikes are good for you! Once a week, just go for it. And, most people already cheat on any diet plan they’ve ever tried, so you might as well just plan it in and feel fine with it.
Naturally, I’m attracted to this idea.
The first four rules are essentially The South Beach Diet’s phase 1. Two weeks of carb elimination to kick the sugar habit before you start to gradually introduce some whole grains (phase 2). After meeting your weight loss targets, you graduate to phase 3 to maintain it for the rest of your life with great eating choices.
The fifth rule is the missing link, the one I’ve been searching for. The rule that says eating crappy food is a good thing! So, I gave it a shot.
I started on Monday, January 31st with a renewed focus. It was surprisingly easy to get back into a clean eating lifestyle. After all, I’ve been there before, I know the routine, and I know it works. Day 1 was no problem, Day 2 found me wanting a late night snack, then days 3-6 were back to being no problem. I was very full, eating a ton of veggies and legumes, as well as plenty of proteins. Within about 3 days, I noticed that clothes were already fitting better. Success! And, Superbowl Sunday (my pre-planned cheat day) was just around the corner!
When Superbowl Sunday came, I started off with a healthy breakfast that really wasn’t that different from the other days of the week. After breakfast, here’s what I had for the rest of the day:
1 Snickers Bar (this was the beginning. I wasn’t even hungry. I just had it because I could.)
2 Chocolate Chunk cookies
1 Raised yeast donut, sugar glazed
After these things, I was really feeling the sugar slam my system. I felt buzzy and strange.
A turkey sandwich (I threw away the bread)
At the Superbowl Party, I had:
3 chili dogs (no bun)
A handful of tortilla chips and liqui-cheese
A few handfuls of regular potato chips and ranch dip
1 cookie
A couple of small handfuls of peanut M&M’s
2 lemon bar squares
1 cupcake
About 10 of the creampuff bites from Costco
I really wasn’t feeling good. In fact, I was craving clean food at this point. But, the cheat day wasn’t over, so we stopped at the grocery store on the way home to pick up some ice cream for sundaes at home. But, before I could make a sundae, I fired up the grill and cooked a chicken breast seasoned with Montreal steak seasoning. Honestly, it was the best-tasting food of the day.
Then I finished with a big bowl of Moose-Tracks ice cream.
I felt gross. I took a couple of Tums and laid in bed thinking about how crappy I felt. Maybe this was the real purpose of the cheat day. Hmmm.
Back to my six days of clean eating…
